Bert Eugene BerglandDec 22, 20202 minGROCERY STORE LAWS, REBELS and JOCK STRAPSYou’ve all been there; at least those of you who grocery shop. I grocery shop. Not because I am a good and thoughtful husband; that ended...
Bert Eugene BerglandDec 12, 20203 minGRUB HUB FLUBThere are some things I should not be permitted to do. For example (and there are endless examples) using a chainsaw after drinking scotc...
Bert Eugene BerglandDec 1, 20205 minTHE BERGLAND BUGLE 2020 Pandemic EditionWARNING: Wear your mask while reading this. Due to COVID-19 and for your protection while typing this edition of the Bergland Bugle, I am...
Bert Eugene BerglandJun 29, 20204 minNON-AUTONOMOUS WHEEZER GEEZERS, 10 CLUES and the PTA Let’s face it. Riots and vandalism and murder and mayhem notwithstanding, old people driving is a one of the truest threats to society. O...
Bert Eugene BerglandJun 10, 20204 minCOVidiots, the Darwin Award, Rebellion, Cyclotrons, Checkout Lines and My Toilet Paper Threat AssessI confess: I am the one who leaves that cart in the checkout aisle at Lowes or Home Depot. Today I left a cart with only two cans of spra...
Bert Eugene BerglandJun 1, 20202 minRECREATIONAL RIOTING, LEISURE-TIME LOOTING and GOLF I am watching the great American riots. I am a docile old white guy, so I am having a bit of difficulty understanding the process, but as...
Bert Eugene BerglandMay 31, 20203 minUGLY IS UNIVERSALThere is nearly always some good that derives from bad circumstances. Agathokakological is the word that comes to mind. I have had a reve...
Bert Eugene BerglandApr 19, 20203 minHand Disinfectants, Tequila and Applied AlgebraHand Disinfectants, Tequila and Applied Algebra Those alcohol disinfectants heretofore mostly ignored on the grocery store shelf are now ...
Bert Eugene BerglandApr 17, 20203 minSOCIAL DISTANCING: SIX FEET APART, SIX FEET UNDER and the “SICK STICK”Six feet! How many of us really know what is six feet? I for years thought I was six feet tall, despite what those telling pencil marks...
Bert Eugene BerglandApr 17, 20203 minHOWARD HUGHES, HAIRCUTS, HAIR DYE and HOARDINGNow, along with Charmin and Wonder Bread, yet another shelf is suddenly devoid of what has turned out to be a critical product… Clairol. ...
Bert Eugene BerglandApr 17, 20203 minFACE MASKS: GROCERY SHOPPING or ARMED ROBBERY?Face masks! They are literally everywhere thanks to the worldwide pandemic. This must make all convenience store clerks and bank tellers ...
Bert Eugene BerglandApr 16, 20203 minWELCOME! AN INVITATION TO PEEK THRU MY KEYHOLE!People have asked me, lips curled and eyebrows arched, “What goes on inside that head of yours?” Honestly, I do not know; I have no answer